by Quoth

"What have I got to do to make you love me,
What have I got to do to make you care,
What do I do when lightning strikes me,
And I wake to find that you're not there?"
--Elton John, "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"

*********************************************

For the second time in as many minutes, Geordi told himself to stay calm as he 
worked at a station in his alcove in Engineering. There was nothing to be 
concerned about. There was no emergency. Data was just coming down from the end 
of his bridge shift to help the Engineering crew with some slight anomalies for 
a few hours. 

Nothing else.

That was okay. That was no problem. He could keep control of himself for that 
long.

Of course he could.

There was no doubt about it.

Until Data came striding smoothly around the corner, and Geordi instantly had to 
turn towards his console and take a deep breath.

No problem. Right. Reality check, LaForge.

Data came directly over to the alcove and stood in front of the console opposite 
the engineer's. "Geordi, did you want me?" 

Oh, Data, don't say that, please...

"Uh, yeah," Geordi said quickly, covering his slight lapse of control. "That 
panel over there's been giving inaccurate readings for the past hour or so. 
Could you check it for me?"

"Certainly, Geordi. I am -- glad -- to help."

And Data turned his back and bent over slightly, examining the readings on the 
indicated console.

Geordi swallowed audibly at the innocently provocative position -- Damn, does he 
even realise how he looks when he does that? -- and turned away. After a moment 
of pretending to work and making sure his subordinates didn't see, he allowed 
his gaze a moment to roam hungrily over that delicious slim body, concealed 
inside the thick material of a Starfleet uniform. He recalled the one time he 
had seen Data without it, and shivered involuntarily, looking away.

********************************************** 

It had been a few years ago, while he and Ro had been phased by the Romulan ship 
and thought dead by the rest of the crew. He had been striding quickly through 
the corridors of the Enterprise, trying to get to Data's quarters as quickly as 
he could. Data had mentioned preparing himself for the funeral service for 
Geordi and Ro, and Geordi was hoping to create more chroniton fields to get 
Data's attention somehow. Entering Data's quarters, he noticed that he was 
getting used to walking straight through closed doors and walls. Hopefully, he 
could attract Data's attention soon and make him realise the situation, so this 
wouldn't be a permanent state of affairs.

Yet once Geordi was inside the android's quarters, Data was nowhere to be seen. 
Geordi frowned in confusion. Where was he? He had heard Data specifically tell 
Worf that he was going to his quarters. Why wasn't he in his living room? 

Walking into the bedroom and finding it, too, empty, Geordi became seriously 
concerned. He had no idea where Data was-- then he noticed the sound of running 
water. Without thinking, he automatically looked in the direction of the sound, 
coming from the open bathroom door.

Data was taking a shower.

Geordi was frozen in position, staring. Data was turned slightly away, and his 
normally tightly controlled hair had loosened and softened in the hot humidity, 
strands wisping along his sculpted forehead and ears. Even through the lightly 
fogged glass of the shower stall, his defined facial features created a striking 
profile against the clouds of steam billowing from the showerhead. Geordi could 
see the heat from where he stood.

I should leave now.

But he couldn't tear his gaze from the beautiful golden body in front of him, 
couldn't move his legs to leave the bedroom if his life depended on it. 

Dammit, LaForge, he's taking a shower! Give him some privacy!

It was no use. Geordi simply could not stop looking at Data's slender frame, the 
smooth, graceful lines of a physique that was all too well hidden most of the 
time. 

Before Geordi quite knew what was happening, his feet were moving, and he had 
stepped into the bathroom, past the steamed-up mirror, still staring helplessly 
at Data.

The android, oblivious to Geordi's presence, knelt to pick up a container of 
cleansing gel. Pouring some of the clear, thick liquid into his cupped palm, he 
began to gently slide some of the gel onto his smooth chest and arms, delicate 
hands slowly massaging the gel to a rich lather. Geordi nearly doubled over as a 
wave of potent desire overloaded his senses. His hands crept of their own 
volition out towards the android, then moved away as Geordi remembered that he 
couldn't touch anything-- or anyone. The realisation was crushing. 

Those golden hands were now sliding over slim hips, down long, slender legs, and 
a tormented moan of frustration escaped the engineer's lips. How was it possible 
to want another person so much, to need that person so badly without ever having 
realised it? Dark hands slid downwards, rubbing the aching bulge in his uniform. 
His entire focus was locked on Data, all thoughts of privacy vanished, all 
protests silenced.

When Data's hands slid in between his slim thighs and began washing that 
delicious long golden cock, Geordi let out a cry of near-pain. Oh, stars, there 
was nothing he would not have given at that moment to be naked in that shower, 
to be the one washing Data's beautiful body. 

He remained cemented in position, watching helplessly while Data finished 
washing and rinsing himself. Turning off the water, the android stepped out of 
the shower and into the steamy bathroom, plucking a towel off the wall rack. As 
Data began to dry himself down, Geordi noticed a fine mist of water droplets 
that had settled in the soft, silky dark hair. 

Data turned slightly, his gaze directed straight into Geordi's face, and the 
engineer could no longer help himself. As Data turned away again to step into 
the bedroom, Geordi's hand slipped out towards Data's perfect ass cheeks.

And his hand went right through Data's body.

Biting his lip in frustration when Data noticed nothing, Geordi followed him 
into the bedroom where he watched Data slide into a clean uniform. He ached to 
see that body uncovered again, wanting nothing more than to be able to kiss Data 
and let him know that he was here. 

Data crossed the room, unconsciously passing very close to Geordi. Again, 
LaForge's hands twitched in useless longing. The android petted Spot and ordered 
a feline supplement from the replicator to set down on the floor before leaving 
his quarters. 

Geordi followed him to Ten Forward, dizzy from the shocking realisation that he 
wanted his best friend as his lover. He hadn't even considered the idea before, 
but now...

He had to get Data's attention somehow, had to get him to destroy the cloaking 
phenomenon. He couldn't cope with the thought of never being able to tell Data 
how he felt, with the thought of forever wandering the ship with Data looking 
right through him, never seeing him. 

That, he reminded himself, and the fact that the ship would blow up if they went 
to warp.

Once he and Ro were unphased, he would talk to his friend, he swore to himself. 
As soon as everything was back to normal.

***********************************

But it hadn't been that way, in the end, Geordi remembered. Once the two of them 
were unphased, they had been surrounded by a crowd of people, and he had 
momentarily lost track of the android. Eventually, he saw Data had standing off 
to the side, a look of isolation on his face, as if he wanted to join the joyful 
throng but felt out of place there. Geordi had excused himself from the small 
crowd and gone over to him, asking how he was. Data had responded, saying how 
pleased he was that Geordi was alive.

And that had been the end of it.

He had fully intended to say something to Data, but he simply hadn't known what 
to say. "Data, I've realised I want you as more than just a friend" sounded 
stupid, and though it was the truth, it was not what he wanted to say. Nor was 
"Oh, Data, by the way, while I was phased I stared at you while you were naked". 

So he had left it until tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next. 

Eventually, the courage he had gathered to tell Data had died with the words 
still unspoken, and Geordi had kept his silence. 

Face it, LaForge. You were chicken.

Geordi moaned under his breath, not realising Data had been looking at him 
worriedly for some time.

"Geordi, are you unwell?"

"What? Oh, no, no-- I'm fine." Seeing Data reach out a hand to steady him, he 
quickly moved back a step. If Data touched him now, he would develop such an 
obvious erection that none of his crew would be able to miss it. "I just have 
another headache. Say, why don't you take over here? I'll go to Sickbay
and get a painkiller or something."

Quickly he walked out, trying to forget the look of sweet concern on Data's 
face.

**********************************

Data watched his friend move speedily out of Engineering. After a moment, he 
want back to work, attempting to concentrate. But try as he might, he could not 
dismiss or ignore one rather unpleasant fact.

Geordi seemed uncomfortable with Data touching him, almost afraid of it. 

This was not an uncommon state of affairs with many other people-- indeed, many 
people had exhibited an aversion to all forms of contact with him, had disliked 
interacting with him in any capacity whatsoever.

But Geordi is my friend...

Tilting his head in slight confusion, he attempted to concentrate once more on 
the work at hand. If Geordi preferred to keep his distance, then that was his 
right and Data would respect it. After all, he had no feelings to be injured in 
this matter.

Absolutely none.

************************

In his quarters, Geordi sat on the couch, leaning back and slumping into the 
soft cushions. This was ridiculous. He had to get his head sorted out, and fast. 
He couldn't go on acting this way. Even Reg Barclay was beginning to notice 
lately that there was something wrong. 

Geordi sighed. The problem was the same as it always was. He couldn't tell the 
person he wanted how he felt. 

No, that wasn't right. 

Not just the person he wanted, or needed. The person he loved.

Geordi massaged his temples, trying to fight the no-longer-fictional headache he 
had told Data about. Again, he tried unsuccessfully to quash the memory of that 
damn shower. That had not only made him aware, for the first time, of his 
attraction to Data, but had slapped him across the face and forced him to 
acknowledge it. 

He had acknowledged it-- he'd had to. And, having failed to tell Data about it, 
he eventually buried it deep, trying to ignore it, knowing that it could never 
be satisfied. He couldn't do that to Data, his cowardice argued. He couldn't. It 
wouldn't be fair to even think about using him just to satisfy a purely sexual 
urge.

But after that time a year ago, during the D'Arsey incident, when he'd finally 
understood that he wanted Data more than just sexually, the persistent thoughts 
and images had simply refused to leave him alone. They tormented him constantly, 
asking "what if" questions that could never be answered.

Geordi remembered all the times when Data had been in danger, from Ira Graves, 
from Kivas Fajo, Maddox, Lore... the list was endless. Data, with his trusting 
naivete, seemed precision-made for the role of victim. He recalled the sudden 
sick fear that always seized in his guts at every realisation that Data had been 
hurt or... changed.

For a long time, he'd thought that it was just the protectiveness a person 
always feels for a young child, added to what one feels for a close friend. 
Maybe once, a long time ago, it had been. When had it become more?

When Data had almost died from the Iconian computer virus, he decided. He hadn't 
realised it at the time, but yes, that had been it. And after then, figuring it 
out had just been a matter of time. First the physical attraction, then finally 
the deeper feelings... 

Wincing, he recalled the exact moment during the encounter with the D'Arsey 
archive a year ago that had finally brought into brutally sharp focus just how 
much he did care... 

*************************

Data had been hooked up to the computer in Main Engineering, as they searched 
for any signs of possible communication with the mysterious archive scanning 
them. 

Geordi worked at the nearby console as Data sat patiently while the tests were 
being run. 

"Lower synaptic functions completely normal," Geordi informed Data as the 
results appeared on his screen. "Automonous systems all check out."

Data nodded. "I suggest we examine my memory subsystem next," he stated calmly.

"All right," Geordi agreed as he began the diagnostic on the relevant neural 
pathways. Everything was processing smoothly, when the panel lit up and began 
beeping an alert, as Data suddenly gasped. Geordi immediately looked up in 
alarm.

"Data, what's wrong?" he asked quickly.

Data looked bewildered and disoriented. "I am not certain. I am experiencing 
a... curious sensation."

"Well, what is it?" Geordi asked as he moved over to look closely at Data's 
confused face. This didn't sound good.

Data hesitated for a moment, then finally clarified, "...An impulse."

"Impulse? What kind of impulse?"

"I... do not know," whispered Data.

Geordi stared worriedly as his usually articulate friend searched unsuccessfully 
for words to describe what was happening to him. This was not like Data. 
Normally, Data would explain methodically what was occurring in terms of 
synaptic relays and programming. Now, he seemed unable to find even a vague, 
subjective description. Something was very, very wrong.

"I'm going to check on your higher functions," he told Data as he strode back to 
the console, grimly determined to find out what was happening to his friend 
before anything could go wrong.

He had just begun an exhaustive diagnostic of Data's higher functions when he 
heard Data begin to talk, and he kept his head down to study the readouts, 
though he listened intently.

"Geordi." Data's voice was evensofter than normal. "What... does it feel 
like... when a person is losing his mind?"

The by-now familiar feeling of sick dread seized Geordi in the stomach even as 
his head jerked up in shock. In a voice that was not quite steady, he demanded, 
"Data, come on, you're scaring me. Now what's going on?" 

"I do not know." Behind the soft statement was an unvoiced plea for an 
explanation, for reassurance, for something, anything. Geordi came closer, 
responding instinctively to the unspoken cry for help. 

"I... am different." Geordi saw the distressed helplessness evident on that 
innocent face, and he couldn't stand it. Bending over and staring directly into 
Data's face, he quietly promised, "Well, you're going to be all right. You're 
with me, okay?" 

"Oh-kay," Data whispered, clinging desperately to the reassurance Geordi 
offered. 

"Listen, I'm going to disconnect you," Geordi told Data as he reached up and 
gently detached the ODN cable from the android's neural net. Then he went back 
to the console to look at the readings of the past few seconds.

Reaching the console, he took one glance at the indicated readouts and was 
stunned. "What's going on?" he demanded incredulously of no one in particular. 
Moving swiftly back to Data's side, he was aghast at what he saw. 

Data's very neural net had -- changed. It had been altered, so completely and 
swiftly that Geordi could not fully comprehend it. "Data--" he gasped, hands 
automatically lifting towards the violated brain, a movement halted as Data spun 
his chair to face him.

All traces of uncertainty and apprehension had left the android's face. There 
was only arrogance and confidence there now. He was certainly 'different' now, 
as he looked at Geordi with someone else's eyes.

He smirked as he informed Geordi that "Masaka is waking," with the voice of a 
stranger. 

And smiled at the engineer with a stranger's smile.

********************************

Even a year later, the memory of that moment still sickened Geordi, and he 
doubled up on the couch, allowing his head to loll forward. That horrible 
smile... 

At that instant, the force of the understanding that someone had casually ripped 
Data's mind out of his body and taken his place had truly hit him. Geordi had 
nearly fainted at the stunning rush of emotions and thoughts hitting him, 
overwhelming him. Afterwards, he was only able to remember one with any clarity. 

Oh no, Data, don't go, come back, I love you...

The shock of that thought had yanked him out of his trance, and he had 
immediately contacted the captain and gotten him down to Engineering. As the 
Captain coaxed useless answers out of the Ihat entity inside Data, Geordi's 
heart had sunk at the revelation that Ihat himself had no idea where Data's 
consciousness was. 

Keeping himself together through sheer willpower during the schizophrenic time 
that had followed for both Data and the ship itself, Geordi had been too 
confused over the realisation of his love for Data to even think about actually 
telling Data. It simply hadn't occurred to him for a while. 

The dreams had started that first night. At first, Geordi had tried to dismiss 
them, but they simply refused to stay buried. They were not all the same, but 
they were similar, and they always had the same theme and ending.

Shaking his head to try to clear it, Geordi quickly showered, fiercely quashing 
remembered desire as he did so, and went to bed. Maybe tonight he would sleep 
without dreaming... 

**********************************

A sound kept ringing out, but it took him a few moments to work out what it was. 

Oh, yes, of course.

That was the door signal. 

He was naked, but he called out "Enter" to whoever was on the other side of the 
door anyway. It wouldn't matter. The doors parted to reveal Data. Geordi smiled 
at the sight of him.

"Hey, Data, how are you?"

"I am fine, Geordi. I am, however, concerned for you. How are you?" Impeccably 
neat in his uniform as always, Data asked his question with the true concern of 
a close friend.

His smile spread wider. "I'm fine, Data. I really am. I'm glad you came over, 
actually, because there's something I wanted to tell you. See, I--"

And somehow, Data was suddenly beside him, one arm sliding around his waist, 
smiling that small, gentle smile that always made him so beautiful, one golden 
finger on full, dark lips.

"Shh," the android said softly. "I know." 

His eyes blinked in surprise behind his VISOR, but that was quickly forgotten as 
pale, soft lips slowly descended onto his own and pressed, almost shyly. Eagerly 
he pressed back, and was delighted to feel Data's tongue lightly teasing his 
lips. Opening his mouth, he returned the exploration with his own tongue, loving 
the sensations rippling down his spine, burning a path from his mouth to the 
rest of his body.

He felt his hands slide over Data's torso, and he longed to see him barechested, 
feel naked golden skin under his palms. No sooner had the wish crossed his mind 
then it was granted, the thick, irritating material under his fingers suddenly 
gone. He heard Data moan softly as his hands found golden nipples and began to 
gently squeeze them to attention. 

He gripped Data's wrists and pulled him over to the bed, pushing him down onto 
the mattress and sitting beside him. Data made no objections, only looked up at 
him in a way that begged to be kissed. He gladly obliged, loving the soft moans 
and sighs of satisfaction he heard as he switched his attention from the sensual 
lips to the sensitive skin of the slim throat. He let his hands roam over the 
chest, sliding further down to the hips. He was glad to find out that the 
trousers had disappeared as well, and he allowed his mouth to attend to Data's 
nipples while his hands slid between slender golden thighs, found the arousal 
there.

He heard the cry of pure sensuality that escaped Data, felt it vibrate on his 
skin, and he heard his own replying moan. Leaning over to kiss Data, he held 
pale gleaming shoulders firmly down on the bed while sliding his body on top of 
Data's. Another moan from beneath him, and their hips were moving together, 
creating wonderful pressure between them. He wouldn't have believed that he 
could feel emotions and physical sensations entwined this intensely until this 
moment. Looking down at Data he kissed him one more time, and whispered, "I love 
you."

Then the ecstasy took them both, and he dimly heard himself crying out as he 
held his lover tight... 

...And he woke in the dark, alone, clutching his pillow, his body and bedsheets 
sticky.

Furious at himself, he punched his pillow in frustration and muttered curses 
under his breath before fumbling for his VISOR on the nightstand. Ordering the 
computer to raise the lights, he attached the VISOR, wincing at the sudden 
intensity of input into his brain. Still, the temporary distraction was welcome, 
although all too short-lived. 

Those damned dreams! 

Groaning, he ordered a cup of coffee from the replicator before heading off to 
take another shower. There obviously wasn't going to be much sleep for him 
tonight...

****************************

The next morning he could barely keep awake as he walked to the turbolift. 
Despite his exhaustion, the occasional image from his dreams slipped insistently 
into his mind, and he mumbled various curses under his breath as he tried to 
concentrate on his upcoming shift. It wouldn't do any good to fall asleep on 
duty. 

Not paying attention to where he was headed, he didn't see the crewmember step 
from the door of their quarters into the corridor until he had run into them. He 
staggered, and almost fell. Instantly, strong hands were supporting him. 

"Geordi, are you all right?" Data's soft voice filled his ears.

Oh, no...

"Yeah, Data, I'm fine. Uh, can you let me go now, please? I'm okay, really."

Data released his grip on the engineer's arms. "I apologise, Geordi. Was I 
squeezing too hard? I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Um, no, that wasn't it. Really. And I'm the one who should apologise. I just 
wasn't looking where I was going. I haven't been sleeping well lately." Staving 
off the concerned question he could see forming on Data's face, he said, "Don't 
worry, I'm fine. I'll get some sedatives from Sickbay tonight if I have to." And 
I'll just bet I will have to.

"Would you prefer to go to Sickbay now? I am sure the Captain would not object 
to your taking some time off duty if you are not well. I have noticed that 
you... have not been acting like yourself... for some time." Data indicated the 
general direction of Sickbay with his hand, silently offering to accompany 
Geordi.

Geordi backed off a step-- fast. Damn that dream. "No, no, Data, that's not 
necessary, really. I'd just rather deal with it myself, that's all. I don't want 
your help." Focussing on the need to put distance between himself and Data, he 
only then realised that he'd said the last sentence far more forcefully than 
he'd intended. 

He saw Data's face fall subtly, golden eyes bewildered. Damn you, LaForge. 

You've hurt him now. Unable to think of anything to say which could fix things, 
he quickly said "Look, no offence, but I have to go now. I'll see you later." 
Walking off, he cursed himself for a fool.

He knew the dreams would return tonight. And he knew that all he would see would 
be the kicked-puppy look on Data's face.

******************************

Data stood in the corridor for a moment, looking helplessly after Geordi's 
retreating form. 

What have I done to displease him?

Data combed his memory banks, but could think of nothing that he had recently 
done, or failed to do, that Geordi was likely to take offence at.

Perhaps I am not nearly as close to humanity yet as I thought. I cannot find the 
source of Geordi's displeasure with me.

He thought with a strangely intense longing of the emotion chip his father had 
made for him, resting safely in an alcove in his quarters. After the incident 
with Lore and his Borg, he had originally decided to destroy the chip, but 
Geordi had persuaded him not to, talking him into keeping it instead, and 
repairing the damage wrought by the phaser blast and the usage by the wrong 
neural net. It was possible that the chip may overload his own neural net, but 
Data had found that possibility to concern him less and less over time. 
Perhaps the emotion chip would help him better understand whatever emotional 
difficulty Geordi was currently experiencing. 

Tilting his head, he continued on his path to the bridge. His presence was 
required there. He could decide on a course of action regarding the emotion chip 
later.

He could only hope that, whatever he chose, that the difficulty Geordi currently 
had with his proximity would soon end. He did not wish to make things unpleasant 
for his friend by being present if Geordi did not want it, but the sensation of 
being required to keep his distance from his best friend for reasons unknown was 
one that he found quite... discomfiting. 

THE END.