by Quoth

The small hall was packed with people in uniform, as Starfleet
prepared to mourn one of its own. The heat of Vulcan suns blazed down
on the roof as the audience waited patiently for the ceremony to
begin. Well, most waited patiently-- that was the way of Vulcans.

In the front row, however, there was fidgetting and discomfort. Geordi
dragged the back of his hand across his forehead and wished for the
millionth time that Starfleet dress uniforms were cooler. To his right
sat his father and his sister, along with her lover and children,
similarly attired and no doubt wishing the same thing. To his left sat
Data. He was glad of the company of at least one person who would not
get bored or fidget, like his two nieces.

Two little girls who did not understand the permanence of death, and
to whom "Grandmama" had only been a name in any case.

He sighed in relief as the first speaker stepped up to the podium.
Thank goodness, it was starting.

He wiped the sweat off the back of his neck. Ye stars, it was hot.
Accustomed to the controlled environments on starships and starbases,
having grown up on them, he hated planet-bound, intemperate weather of
all kinds. When was the last time he had felt so hot, aside from the
hologrammatic Hera?

[Oh yes, that's right. I was five--]

************************************

He cried out in pain as the flames licked at his clothes and face. He
didn't know what it was that was roaring around him and hurting like
this, but he knew he was scared of it.

"Mom! Dad! MOM!" he screamed desperately. He fumbled around, trying to
find the wall, anything that would give him guidance to walk out of
this horrible place, but he found nothing except a searing hot metal
table which burned his hand.

He screamed.

And, from what sounded like a long way away, he heard his mother
yelling for him. "Geordi! I hear you! Where are you?"

"Here, Mom!"

And suddenly, he felt strong hands around his waist, dragging him away
from the heat, and he cried as he hung on to her with all his might.

"Shhh. It's okay, Geordi. We're going to Sickbay now."

They had gone to Sickbay and Doctor Whispering Rain had cleaned and
fixed his hand and the rest of his sore burns. Later, when Geordi had
almost fallen asleep still clutching tightly to his mother's clothes,
he heard his mother and father argue.

"It's time, Edward."

"No, Silva. He's still far too young to cope with the radical
difference. And it will be painful for him-- you heard Whispering Rain
say so himself."

"More painful then being trapped in a strange place he can't find his
way out of and getting nearly burned to death?" Mom sounded angrier
than Geordi had ever heard her. He heard Dad sigh, and Mom had spoken
again, softer.

"Edward. He told me he was so scared when he couldn't hear either of
us over the fire. He caught hold of a burning hot table while trying
to feel his way out, because he couldn't see to avoid it. He still
won't let go of me, and I have a feeling he's going to be clingy for a
while. He needs the independance the VISOR will give him."

"Whispering Rain said the technology is still almost a year from
common usage."

"Fine. We'll put Geordi on the waiting list. He deserves to know what
it's like. And if he doesn't like it, we can reverse the operation.
But he deserves the chance to decide."

******************************************

Geordi jerked back to reality as the keynote speaker began his talk.
His mind had wandered for a moment.

"We have gathered here to mourn the loss of the USS Hera and her crew.
Under Captain Silva LaForge, the ship was lost in unknown
circumstances.

"I had the honour of a friendship with Silva LaForge. Her Starfleet
career was distinguished indeed, but it was not nearly so important to
her as her family. It is to her credit, and the credit of her husband
Edward, her son Geordi and daughter Ariana that the family bonds were
still strong despite the distance that often seperated them."

Part of Geordi wanted to tune out the meaningless rhetoric, the
rhetoric that would not bring his mother back. But if he did not
listen and show his respect to her memory, who would?

A glance to his right showed Ariana and Dad, each cradling a young
toddler fast asleep. In this heat, he couldn't blame them.

Data was shifting his gaze back and forth between the speaker and
Geordi. Geordi wondered what Data was thinking at this point. Could he
possibly understand? He had only known his "father" for a brief time
before losing him, and had just recovered from an extremely unpleasant
mental violation at his brother's hands. Could the concept of close
family bonds hold any meaning for him?

Time seemed to drag interminably. He watched his father get up and
speak, in a voice not quite steady, of the first time he had met Silva
and his knowledge of her, a knowledge born of over thirty-five years
of love and intimacy. Geordi listened in amazement as his father
revealed facets of his mother that he had never even thought about
having existed.

He had never known that she had enjoyed parasailing, in real life and
on the holodeck.

He had never realised that she had been afraid of spiders. [I
remember-- I brought a sculpture home from school once and she
stiffened-- I never figured it out--]

He had never discovered that she had been a science tutor long before
her marriage, and had in fact almost become a teacher before deciding
to join Starfleet and become a different kind of leader.

[All these things I should have known about her I should have known I
should have--]

Then there was the playing of her recording "to be played in the event
of death." Geordi had always hated that phrase, and doubly so now. He
watched intensely as his mother calmly addressed Dad, Ariana, him--
always giving cheerful words of comfort and courage. She practically
ordered them all to get over it, already. A smile pushed up a corner
of Geordi's mouth.

[That's Mom all over.]

The rest of the ceremony, for the Hera's bridge crew, flew past in a
daze for Geordi. The time, which had seemed to pass so slowly at one
point, suddenly began to race, and before he knew it he found himself
standing outside in Vulcan's desert heat, Data and his family beside
him.

"Ariana, where are you going?" Edward LaForge asked his daughter.

Ariana had seemed to age five years since Geordi had last spoke to her
a month ago. "Mike and I are going back to the Aries. There's no
reason to disrupt Lessandra and Kallinda any more than this has
already." As she spoke, she hefted Kallinda higher in her arms as
Mikhail chased after Lessandra.

Edward nodded. If Ariana had aged five years, he had easily aged
fifteen. "Geordi, you're going back to the Enterprise, I suppose?"

"Yeah." Geordi didn't feel up to talking at the moment. He noticed
Data talking quietly into his communicator a couple of metres away.
The android called "Geordi, the Enterprise is prepared to beam us up
now."

"Okay, Data. Bye, Dad. Bye, Ariana. Talk to you soon."

Data gave the command to energize, and as the transporter beam seized
them Geordi was struck by a sudden urge to stay with what was left of
his family and talk, not to leave, but it was too late and they were
already appearing in the familiarity of the transporter room. Geordi
sighed. He would talk with them soon enough, anyway. Data turned a
quzzical gaze on him.

"Geordi, are you all right?"

"Yeah, Data, I'm fine." Geordi decided not to bother explaining it to
Data-- it didn't really matter.

"As you wish."

*************************************

Geordi sat in his quarters, staring depressedly at the hologram of his
mother.

[Mom always seemed so invincible. I didn't think she'd die-- not so
soon, not like this.]

And how had she died? That was the worst-- having no idea what had
happened. If he *knew*, it might make things a little easier. As it
was...

Had she been sleeping and been caught unawares like the rest of the
crew, dying peacefully in an instant? Or had it been while trying to
save the crew? Had something happened with the Hera's engines? Had she
died of radiation poisoning, blood pouring from her mouth--

[Stop it! This won't do any good.]

The door signal sang its message, and Geordi latched gratefully onto
the distraction.

"Come in."

He had expected Deanna-- again--, but he was surprised when the door
opened to reveal Data.

"Hello, Geordi. How are you?" his friend asked calmly.

Geordi conjured up a small smile. "I'm fine, Data. Thanks for asking."

Data frowned. "If I may say so, Geordi, you do not seem to be 'fine'."

"What do you mean?" demanded Geordi, startled.

"I have observed that you have been acting strangely since the funeral
ceremony. At one point, you seemed uncomfortable and eager for the
ceremony to be over. Then, you seemed startled when it finished. You
were stiff and uncomfortable when talking with your father and sister
afterwards, yet you reacted badly when we returned to the Enterprise
and left them."

[Was it that obvious?] wondered Geordi.

"If there is something you wished to talk about, I am willing to
listen."

"Great, a Counsellor-Troi-in-training," muttered Geordi under his
breath. He was sick and tired of talking.

Data tilted his head. "I beg your pardon, Geordi? I only meant to make
an offer to help you. I do not understand why you find this
undesirable, or why it is necessary to imply an insult against
Counsellor Troi."

Geordi blew air from between his teeth tensely. "Data, did you only
come here to lecture me? Because if you really want to make yourself
useful, talking about things you don't understand isn't the way to do
it.", Seeing Data's golden eyes, looking for all the world like those
of a bewildered child, he sighed and relented. Data had disobeyed
orders to help him try and find his mother, after all, and had landed
in trouble from Captain Picard for it. He gestured towards a seat.

"Sit down," he offered. Data sat.

"Data, I appreciate the thought, but I'm fine, honest. It's just
that-- a few things occurred to me in the middle of the funeral,
that's all."

"Such as?"

Geordi studied Data for a moment, wondering how well he would
understand.

"Well... when my father was talking about what my mom was like, he
talked about a lot of things that I didn't know about."

Data nodded. "Your mother seemed to be a well-rounded and impressive
human being."

"She was! And I didn't even know *how* impressive till she was gone. I
admired her, sure, but I didn't know the half of it."

Data nodded. "It is often difficult for a child to accept that a
parent has other roles in life besides that of a caregiver. This view
often persists well into adulthood, and guilt often follows upon the
discovery otherwise, most commonly upon the parent's death..."

Geordi sighed. Data was doing what he always did. Applying the general
to the specific and, though entirely correct, missing the point by a
fraction--

"...despite the fact that your mother would have been particularly
concerned for the well-being of you and your family at this point,
rather than her own reputation."

Geordi's jaw dropped, and he gaped at Data. "WHAT?!" he finally
demanded. "What did you say?"

"I believe that your mother would, at this point, most likely tell you
to stop making yourself miserable by adding guilt to your grief."
Seeing his friend's stunned face, Data added, "Geordi, you made every
effort to save the creature you believed was your mother. There is no
fault on your behalf there, and nor is there any fault in not knowing
everything regarding her. Did your mother ever speak of these things?"

Geordi shook his head. "Not that I remember."

"How, then, do you expect yourself to have known?"

"I could have asked! I *should* have asked!"

"Indeed. There are many things that I *should* have asked my father
while I had the chance. However, I did not, and now I have lost the
opportunity. Dwelling on it will not help. He is gone, and that is
all."

[He gets it,] Geordi thought in amazement. [He really gets it.]

"Geordi, it seems to me that you are actively trying to find ways to
blame yourself. That is unwise. You seem to believe that if you can
find what you 'did wrong', you can avoid losing any more people
important to you by avoiding the fault. Unfortunately, the universe
does not work in such a manner. People will be lost, in any case. To
try and control the universe this way is a mistake, although an
understandable one."

"What do you mean?" was all Geordi could say. He'd had no idea Data
understood thse things so well.

"Family is a very precious commodity, and you do not wish to lose any
more. You have been extremely fortunate in regards your family. And
many others less fortunate have held on to what they have with much
more unwise levels of tenacity."

And it hit Geordi like a thunderbolt. Data understood, because he had
been there. Believing himself alone for twenty-six years, he had found
his brother and been forced to turn away from him after Lore had
threatened the ship. He had lost his father, mere hours after having
found him. Later, he had joined his brother, offering his loyalty to
someone who basely abused it and him, hung grimly on to something not
worth having because Lore was all the family he had. And in the end,
he had had to kill his brother, as Lore had killed their father.

An explanation, an apology, an offer of sympathy, all in one.

"Data?"

"Yes, Geordi?"

"I'm sorry about what I said before. You *do* know what you're talking
about."

Data nodded, gold eyes gleaming in a golden face. "Yes. You have
discovered something that I had aleady found out. If I could have
somehow prevented this for you, I would have, for I wish you had not
had to learn this. It is a life lesson that I could have done
without."

THE END.